- The Afters
def: compare (something to): draw an analogy between one thing and another for the purposes of explanation or clarification.
So based on this definition, and my observations of myself and other women, we compare ourselves to others and each other in order to help explain who we are or, to clarify what we want to be. Or both. At the heart of it, us comparing ourselves to each other reflects that we aren't satisfied with who God has created us to be. And once we realize that this exists in our hearts, then we can move forward and upward out of the dark abyss of constant compare and contrast.
Some of you have it worse than others. The art of comparison comes with practice. It can come in waves (like riding an emotional roller coaster), or it can vary with whatever season of life you are in. And society is no help, whatsoever. Some of your friends aren't so helpful either. This is where something I'd like to call "practical love" comes in. Loving others in the midst of their struggles from where they are, not from where you are.
Let me explain.
Some people are very good at empathizing and some are not. Sometimes I am not, particularly when I can't relate to the situation the person is enduring. But I am learning! There are some people who will give you a friendly "pat on the back" so to speak and tell you that everything is going to be ok. And then change the topic of conversation because your struggles and issues are bumming them out.
Some may reply with "Wow, what a crappy friend." and it's true, some people suck at being good friends. But don't be so quick to judge. I've probably done this before with out even realizing it! I can figure that because I am an impatient person and understanding someone else's situation comes with time. For others, loving others well and in a practical way comes naturally. For the rest of us, it will come with time and practice.
Loving others practically is hard.
But what does this have to do with comparing ourselves to others? Knowing that all girls will, have, and will again go through phases of this kind of thinking, we should keep in mind to love each other well.
Love well.
On a different note, I love pinterest! Just as much as the next college student or twenty-something female. It is an excellent way to procrastinate. And everything was fine and dandy until I saw this "repined" on the pages I browse for new pins:
And on another similar (and less appropriate) picture, someone commented: "Such great encouragement, I need to look like this, like now."
"Nooooo!" I thought. "This was suppose to be my mindless happy place!" I am all for being active and eating healthy. It's good for you. Some people are just a lot better at it than I am. But there is a difference in wanting to be healthy and wanting to be a size two. I don't want to demonize loosing weight, but whenever you are thinking about doing it, ask why. And be honest. I definitely have equated being skinner with overall happiness. And that comes from being trapped in the dark abyss of comparison.
I wish that there were more adds like this one from Nike:
Now here is an ad I, and probably most girls, can relate to! Getting into better shape for me in this ad, is not about being a size 0 or 2, it's about being healthier! And healthy doesn't look like a Victoria's Secret model. Healthier looks like being able to join in a pick up soccer or ultimate frisbee game with out wanting to pass out in the middle of playing.
Constantly putting yourself down is NOT being humble. It's displaying an ungrateful heart towards what God has given you.
Over confidence (see: full of yourself), is NOT to be highly regarded either. That's when you have too high of a view of your self and low regard for how to love others. God can take away whatever part of yourself you are idolizing. Just like that! (snaps)
The ideal balance is to be confidently humble. Confident in the strengths that you have and humbly growing in your weaknesses. :)
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